This happened often in the past few years. I had to change, as a result, several pillows and regularly performed gymnastic exercises for the neck and shoulders. Unfortunately, all this gave no result. The feeling I had was as if my head was “overloaded with garbage” that I could not get rid of by any means, and they were piling up…
We took a shower, had breakfast and got dressed warmly: it was still early spring.
Knowing my acute sensitivity to cold, I dressed my body with a few sweaters, a jacket above all, and rubber boots on my feet as well. Anna explained to me that the legs of my trousers should cover my boots because it would act as protection, when walking, against the needles of trees, other types of forest debris, or against forest insects: such as ticks etc. Because of this, debris would not fall into my boots.
So, very early in the morning, under the gentle morning sun and the sounds of rare cars, we walked in the still quiet city streets towards the railway station.
Anna said to me, pronouncing slowly and distinctly every word:
“You can continue your training while you walk in these conditions. For example, you can move the consciousness into all the chakras — up and down — cleansing and ‘smoothing’ them. Then you can place the image of a small loving sun into the anahata and look out — from it — to all directions.”
I started training. And her remarks sparked my sudden and sincere surprise:
“You are doing a good job!” — she said.
I stopped, stupefied. I was only doing what I had always been able to do! I never had any difficulties in putting my concentration in any part of my body, in visualizing images, in looking from the thorax to the world surrounding me! When I got acquainted with the books of Vladimir, I enjoyed performing pranayamas with the visualizations of barrels. It was one of the most effective cleansing exercises! (Before meeting Vladimir, I had to master all of raja yoga completely. But I thought that my successes were not at the appropriate level of what I had to attain.)
When we went onto the bridge over the river, Anna offered the following meditation:
“Take a side of the river with an arm of the consciousness, burying it deeply underneath the sand at the bottom. Now, let us do the same with the other arm, extending it to the opposite side.”
I felt my arms coming out of my anahata. I felt them as being made up of white light, so I stretched them out, as far as I could, under the river channel. I felt some tension because of the constant need to maintain my concentration. But, the novelty and excitement made me feel very happy too.
When my concentration weakened, I paused, and then repeated it all over again. Anna smiled. I really liked it when she smiled. For me it meant that everything was going well.
… The moment of meeting Vladimir was approaching. We stood at the designated place waiting for the rest of his companions. According to my calculations (based on his book How God Can Be Cognized. Book 2. Autobiographies of the Disciples of God), there had to be about seven people, including Vladimir himself.
What aroused a little concern in me was my meeting with Olga. I read her autobiography with, for some reason, difficulty and even with some unpleasant feelings. And now, I was afraid that she would notice such my emotions. (But later I found out that Olga had already left the group, I will talk about this later).
Larisa approached. She hugged me — and then quietly began to discuss something with Anna.
Two more people approached, we introduced ourselves to each other and hugged. Truthfully they kept away from me in the recent future. I do not know the reasons. Maybe this was because every new person they meet caused suspicion in them? Their names I will not tell for reasons which we will discuss later.
Then I saw Vladimir and Katya briskly walking in the distance. Katya and I hugged each other and I almost squinted when Vladimir approached. He smiled too, then embraced and kissed me.
I knew that he was already over 60. But I was surprised to look at his lean body, youthful face, however framed with a white beard. I would give him about 30 to 35 years of age … And if without a beard — even less.
“Better than I expected,” — he said, and then went a little to one side and looked at me with clairvoyance. — “Worked well with the chakras! Good job!”
We laughed together — and I sighed with relief!
However, for some time, I continued to feel myself in the presence of Vladimir and his friends — “like at an exam”.
And right now, in a few sweaters, a forest jacket, cap with “ears”, in glasses, hiding somewhere deep “into myself”, I looked like a frightened student…
… And finally — we went by train. This day should be my first day of personal and direct acquaintance with God, as was announced by Vladimir.
With the real, living God? But how could this be done?
… In my twenty years, I for the first time read in Vladimir’s books that, yes, it is possible. But for such a success, it is necessary to apply maximum efforts on the transformation of oneself by the criteria of ethical purity, which may be achieved, in particular, only by mastering the art of psychic self-regulation and then the subtling of the consciousness and then increasing its size.