The only thing in those years that I always dreamed about, was love — love in all senses!
But, for some reason, such love did not come… There were only slight hints of it. And life grew sadder and sadder. I did not know why I got up out of bed every day, why I studied, why I worked, why I trampled down this land.
While I was still a student experiencing permanent overloads, stresses, bad luck, I started to cry, praying to God: for Him to take me back. Buy why? And where was it: back? I did not know. But I had the feeling that, before I came into this dense material world, there — it was for me nice and cozy. But here — it was complete darkness…
Raised by parents in the Orthodox tradition, where God-the-Father was the flying old man on a cloud, I believed that He would not send me to hell just because I felt very unhappy…
I thought: are not people divided only into “saints” and “sinners”! Like some of them go to paradise, and others go to hell. But what about those who are not “saints”, “atheists”, or criminals? To think about it, there are too many such people on this planet! If one believes that every human being lives on the Earth only once, where do they go after the death of their bodies? Where do they live? In the entire history of mankind’s existence on the Earth, if we take into consideration that every day millions die, so that means that the space between paradise and hell, which apparently exists, must already be overcrowded!
Reasoning this, I set a goal: to find the truth, the meaning of why I, like everyone else, found myself on this Earth.
I never had any doubt that God loves us all, but I only wanted to know: what exactly did I do wrong and can I change and improve this situation.
As a result of such thinking, the starting point of my worldview became the concepts of reincarnation and karma. These terms were associated in me with Buddhism. “Seizing” this direction of religion, I decided to “attack” the library to find out everything about it.
But, to my happiness, I immediately found the book by Vladimir “The Methodology of Yoga”. Specifically, what attracted my attention were the words of the title of the book: ‘yoga’ and ‘methodology’. It sounded very scientific!